Why?

I am nothing more than a man searching. A traveler on an open highway. Yet my life is not bound to asphalt, I exist in the ironic state between adolescence and adulthood, torn... I see massive amounts of hurt, of which I'm sure you can understand, but it is not the hurt that wears on me. My soul is so ladened by the cause of the hurt. A struggle, a jouste if you will of an egotist, and a creator. This day, this singularity in the ever greatening expanse of history, why is it for. I am exahsted by the hows of life. See they are but trivialoties in a greater story. It is something so primal, so rudementary in nature. It is as if it is the first question, “why?” I have discovered that the question of how so often gets pulled between us and God, like a curtain. My life is engulfed with imponderables. “God how is it that you let him drown? God how could you allow my mother to be on her death bed, and still say that you love me? God how could I have let my son slip into this life style? How could my best friend have died in a car crash?” These questions rip me apart. The question become the point. I have in recent days discovered that this end is empty. It causes doubt, and in the long run, questions as the end cause us to hate. I am starting to realize bloggers, that questions must be the lens we look through. We must see the world through questions... It opens our minds the the big picture, and allows us to see God for who He is, the point. Not then how, but why? This has changed my scope. I have begun to see through God's eyes. If God is the end, we have to look for why he is such. I'll be honest with you, I don't see why Andy drown, why that crazy girls mom is slipping from life, why that boy is slipping from salvation, or why one of my best friends is just now being able to patch her life after losing her best friend in a car wreck nearly a decade ago. It causes me to pray, because I just don't get it. I look at these girls in the coffee shop not as poor mislead girls with no self esteem, but as other sets of headlighs on the same highway, passersby in th